Hilarious!

Actual Questions Asked of Librarians:

• Do you have books here?
• Do you have any books with photographs of dinosaurs?
• Can you tell me why so many famous Civil War battles were fought on National Park sites?
• Where in the library can I find a power socket for for my hairdryer?
• Do you have that book by Rushdie, 'Satanic Nurses'?  [Actual title: 'Satanic Verses']
• I am seeking a directory of laws that I can break, so that I would be returned to jail for a couple of years.
• Do you have a list of all the books I've ever read?

Funny Questions Asked of Staff at National Parks

• Grand Canyon National Park Rangers - Was this canyon man made?
• Everglades National Park - Are the baby alligators for sale?
• Mesa Verde Park - Do you know of any undiscovered remains?  (The old ones are the best)
• What time of year do they turn on Yosemite Falls?
• Banff National Park - What's the best trail to take a bike on to see a cougar?
  Also:
  Where are the animals kept at night?

Library Jokes and Funny One-liners

• Never judge a book by its movie.  JW Eagan
• From the moment I picked your book up until I put it down I was convulsed with laughter.  Some day I intend reading it.  Groucho Marx
• The first book of the Bible is Guinness's.  In the book of Guinness, Adam and Eve were created from an apple.
• Why didn't the thief burgle the library?
  Because he was afraid the judge would give him a long sentence.
• How come the librarian slipped and fell in the library?
  Because she strayed into the non-friction section
• What did one book say to the other one? 
  I just wanted to see if we are on the same page.
• What do you do if pet starts eating your library book?
  Take the words right out of their mouth.
• I can't understand why a person will take a year to write a novel when he can easily buy one for a few dollars.  Fred Allen